Desperate Measures
by Natural Seoul
Summary: How Chaos convinces Vincent to give him "me time" in the body. *on hiatus while school sucks my soul out*
1. The song that never ends

Chapter 1: The song that never ends

Disclaimer: I do not claim any rights to the characters, places, or things mentioned within this story.

Warning: crude language, eventual homosexual situations, demons.

* * *

Vincent Valentine isolated himself from the world of the living. Buffeted by high winds, he pulled his heavy read cloak tighter around his body. Crouched on top of a ruined skyscraper, he watched the humans walking below. Edge was full of simple people rebuilding their lives.

He tugged at the cloak again, it's weight reminding him that it was impossible for him to rebuild his life. He was one of the dead, kept animated solely by the influence of the demons trapped in his body. If only he could atone for his sins by dying, Vincent would throw himself from the roof in an instant. From bitter experience, he knew that dying did nothing but cause trouble for those left behind. He would never leave the burden of his sins on someone else.

The cape's heavy, tattered fabric lashed in the wind, billowing around his leather armor. He had chosen the cape to remind him of his si-

//Cut it out, already!// Chaos growled from inside Vincent's head.

_What?_ Vincent thought to it, in one-body version of telepathy.

//That sin bullshit. The inside of your head is so dark and cloudy I'm surprised it hasn't rained yet//

Vincent was almost insulted. _Well, I am sorry for pondering upon the wrongs I have committed against-_

//You're _such _a boring host. Most people would do more destructive things with a demon in their body to lend them power. Let me out, I want to do something fun//

_There is no way I am allowing a demon free reign of my body. Especially after a sales pitch like that_, Vincent thought with dry humour.

//DO something then. ANY thing. Even that Cloud guy drives a motorcycle. Do you know what the horsepower of that thing is?//

…_I… you want me to ride a motorcycle?_ Vincent was lost. What did the demon want?

//_I_ want to ride a motorcycle. Me, doing the driving. I'm tired watching people walk around, through you. Vince, _come on._ Let the demon out for a while. I promise I won't do the whole virgin sacrifice thing. That was_ so_ last century. Although, I could do something about this body's virgini-//

_There is nothing that you could say that would convince me to allow you free reign of this body for one minute_, Vincent snapped. It was a touchy subject. His and Lucretia's love was doome-

//…yaoi, yaoi, Cloud yaoi?// Chaos cheered dryly.

_What in the seven circles of Hades are you talking about? _

//Forget that. But desperate times call for desperate measures. Can you handle this, Vincent?//

Vincent could hear the demon's grin. His mental depiction of it wasn't a thing of beauty. "Don't you dare", he spoke out loud, horror coloring his voice.

//Babe, I AM a demon. Ready Vince?//

"No Chaos, that's just fighting dirty!"

//Don't say I didn't warn you///

"Chaos!"

//This is the song that never ends. Yes, it goes on and on, my friends! Some people… started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that never ends. Yes it goes on and on my-//

_Noooooo!_

And so twice weekly it came to be that Chaos had some "me time" in his host's body.

* * *

Revamped. The quality of this was… poor, I feel. A year at University is doing me some good! Sorry for the delay.


	2. They say that in the army

Chapter 2: They say that in the army

Disclaimer: I do not claim any rights to the characters, places, or things mentioned within this story. Why must we keep bringing this up? You know it depresses me, Square Enix.

Warning: crude language, eventual homosexual situations, demons.

* * *

Chaos was once the strongest demon among the gods. He was a messenger to Omega! The god of destruction and the ending of all things! He had power and magical capability that mortals couldn't possibly conceive of. And now?

He was trapped within a gloomy reanimated man with a penchant for leather. Chaos had nothing against leather, mind you, but only in certain situations, or as a fashion statement. And paired with tasteful shoes, as well. But not every day, paired with a red cloak decaying from use. Did his host not know how uncomfortable wet leather was?

Of course he did. He simply considered it a part of his "punishment". No comfort for Vincent Valentine. The man lingered in high and lonely places, brooding. Or he stalked members of his old party, Avalanche, to make sure that they were safe. The only person he voluntarily spoke to was that delectable broody blond, Cloud.

//Now _there's_ a man who makes brooding look good,// Chaos licked mental lips.

Vincent intruded on Chaos' fantasies. _Chaos, stop thinking lustful thoughts towards Strife_. Vincent found it discomfiting that the demon was fixated on Cloud. He worried that some day, after he was forced to let Chaos out, he would wake up next to Cloud's blood-drained body. It seemed like something Chaos would do.

//The only 'draining' I would do would be entirely consensus-//

_Chaos! It is enough that you sing that song until I allow you out. I do not need a running commentary on the pornography reel that is your state of being_.

//It's a shame that you won't let me go after the man. I'd bet you want him too,// Chaos purred suggestively. Vincent felt his cold cheeks warm. There were times that having such a high collar was helpful. It hid any expression he made, if he was in the habit of showing his emotions. Which he wasn't. It was a throwback from his Turk days.

//We need to work on that, Vince. We're going to be housemates, as it were, for a long time… So why not go do something fun on your own, instead of me forcing you?//

The mere thought was enough to make Vincent cringe. _What part of the whole 'I need to atone for my sins' do you not understand, demon? I am responsible for Lucretia's death, and the deaths of many others because of my actions. I can not simply "have fun". Certainly not with a man! And not just any man, but Cloud Strife_! He admired the manner in which Cloud lead the party. In private. Sometimes.

//Stripper name if I ever heard one. So, next on the agenda: I want the body Friday.//

_Just… do not… let me wake up next to someone. I don't understand why you can see what I do, but I do not remember what you do… It… worries me…_ Vincent passed a clawed hand over his face.

//When Vincent's away the demons do play… Don't worry Vincent. I have a vested interest in keeping you happy with this arrangement. I frequent places you would never be remembered. And the way I dress this body? No one would recognize you anyways. So. Friday? Or do I break out "They Say That in The Army?" yaoi style?//

_Gods. Chaos enough is punishment for my sins. _

//Theeeeey say that in the army, the cadets are mighty fine-//

_Agreed! Friday!_ Vincent hastily conceded. _Just… shut up and let me brood on my past. _

//Now you sound like Cloud. Did you want to have a brooding party together? I'll bring refreshments.//

Friday couldn't come soon enough.

* * *

Let me know what you think, ok? I crave attention~

I hope the "sound" of their dialogue translated well. I had Vincent with a mild British accent, and Chaos sounded like a bratty teenager.


	3. Here they come

Chapter 3: Here they come

Disclaimer: I do not claim any rights to the characters, places, or things mentioned within this story. I think Square Enix should give fanfic websites a cut of their profits. I bought Crisis Core because I read FFVII fanfics, and I wanted first-hand experience with the game. For research. Yeah. Research.

Warning: crude language, actual, graphic, lemony homosexual situations, demons. If you want to skip the smut, you can. It's framed by two sets of two break lines.

* * *

The old Shinra Mansion left something to be required in terms of décor. Chaos understood the concept of free rent. He didn't understand voluntarily living in the place where you were tortured, killed, and experimented on.

But wait- he did! It was part of Vincent's masochist regimen. Living with the negative memories, dust, and the occasional low-level monster was Vincent's idea of the perfect abode. Even if the mansion _had_ been close to any sort of nightlife (it was in backwater _Nibelhiem_ of all places!), he wouldn't be able to bring anyone back to 'his place'. Ah, well. That was what hotels were for.

Chaos turned back to the giant two-way mirror and used the reflection to straighten up his outfit. It had once been used to view a subject without their knowledge. Now it reflected an outfit Chaos had seen in a magazine at the only store Nibelhiem really had.

//Looking sharp, Chaos// he thought to himself. He had materialized a deep red turtleneck/tank, skinny blue denim pants, and for once, not those gods-forsaken pointy metal shoes. The golden monstrosities made the body walk like a duck.

He tied back his long black hair, and after a moment of deliberation, punched some earrings into Vincent's ears. They would heal instantly after being removed, so he didn't care about asking Vincent's permission. Not that he should care anyways.

The demon made his way to the front door, and carefully sprouted wings. The tank he wore allowed free movement, so he would be able to fly himself to somewhere fun, like Edge.

The last time Chaos went out, he had met a partying redhead. They teamed up and hit every bar in the place. Unfortunately, Chaos' body had a much higher tolerance for intoxicants, and he could only watch as his drinking partner passed out right on the sticky bar. Chaos hoped he could persuade the redhead to do something more than pass out, should they met again.

Or, perhaps he would go to Seventh Heaven. He could pester Cloud to do something more fun than drink in a corner. Decisions, decisions. Vincent would react…badly… if he ever found out that Chaos used his body to seduce the sexy blond leader.

So, the clubs of Edge it was! Chaos crouched down and launched his borrowed body into the air at top speed.

* * *

"So I told the fucker to go blow up the chopper, and th' dumbass does it, yo!" Reno exclaimed, windmilling his arms to drive home the point. The table around him roared in laughter. Reno sat down with thump, scanning the thrashing dance pit. It was hard to be sure, but he thought he saw that hot vampire-y guy from last weekend on the floor. It was a shame that he had passed out before something more interesting happened.

_Ah well, if I'm right, I'll have a~ll night to seduce him_, Inner Reno grinned.

"Reno?" Rude called the redhead's attention back to the table. The rest of the Turks were chatting about several old failed missions- by Reno- in the stupidest of ways.

"Ahh, sorry yo. Thought I saw somethin fi~ne!" he laughed. Inner Reno snickered.

"Was it me?" Chaos asked, leaning on the table with both hands. The rest of the Turks went quiet. Each was appraising the man, hands on concealed weapons. Elena openly checked Chaos out, Rude used his sunglasses covered any obvious eye movement, and Tseng wondered how he hadn't noticed the man come up to the table until now.

"Well, damn! Speak of th' devil, yo!" Reno exclaimed with a grin. Chaos snorted.

//How right you are// he thought.

"Wanna drink, or wanna dance?" Reno asked, grinning lopsidedly. Chaos found it sexy. Actually, everything the redhead did was sexy.

//There will be fun tonight, oh yes there will//.

"Lets go, Red," Chaos pointed over his back to the dance floor. Reno almost drooled at the way the movement made his muscles ripple. Instant lust, Inner Reno announced. Reno jumped from the table without looking back, leaving the rest of the Turks shaking their heads. Elena wailed.

"Why are all the good ones gay!?"

* * *

Reno eyed the man gyrating beside him. He recognized the man from somewhere… it bothered him that he couldn't place it. Just who could the man be?

"M' Reno. Didn't catch your name last time, gorgeous," Reno murmured in the man's ear. Chaos grinned, showing elongated canines.

"Does it matter?" he slid Vincent's body down against the redhead's, enjoying the feeling of flesh and blood under his control.

"I guess not," Reno laughed, and they danced.

At some point in the night, Tseng found them and indicated that he and the others were going. Chaos watched as the uptight Wutaian tried to keep a bubble of personal space. The dancers kept grinding against him, to his obvious distaste. Chaos watched as Tseng shook his head in disapproval.

Reno dragged him and the other Turks to clubs like this, on occasion. Tseng felt it was better to give in to the infrequent requests than to be forced through whining and petty pranks for weeks after the event. He certainly didn't enjoy it- or he told himself that. Tseng gave Reno a nod and turned to leave. The redhead didn't acknowledge Tseng, glued as he was to the pale man's lips.

After Tseng left, Reno noticed the crowd was pairing off and thinning. The party was winding down.

"So, gorgeous, your place or mine?" he suggested with a seductive smirk.

"I have a hotel room rented for the night up the street," Chaos replied. He was glad he had reserved it. The demon had sent some monsters from the mansion to the Lifestream earlier that day in order to obtain the gil. He killed two birds with one stone: a quick work out, and the means to enjoy luxury for the night.

Reno dragged Chaos out of the building and to the hotel. Chaos was delighted at the forwardness of the redhead. Tonight would be about carnal enjoyment. He simply had to be home before Vincent 'woke up' in their head, and everything would be good.

The second Reno dragged Chaos into the elevator of the hotel, they smashed their lips together. The sensation of physical intimacy was something that Chaos had missed. He nibbled Reno's lips, grazing them with sharp fangs.

"Yo, gorgeous," Reno broke away and panted.

"Yes?" Chaos wanted to be kissing right now, but he humoured the man. He contented himself with groping.

"I can't get a vibe from ya. Are ya the top or bottom?" Reno struggled to finish his sentence. The fingers sliding down his leather pants were distracting.

"What-" Chaos suddenly dominated the kiss, thrusting his tongue suggestively, "-do you think?"

"Top" Reno breathed, so turned on he thought he would pop the button of his pants. He leaned forward to lock lips again.

The make-out session paused as they ran from the elevator to the rental room. He slammed Reno against the door and licked the shell of the redhead's ear. The poor man was fumbled with the keycard Chaos had given him in the lobby. He nearly dropped it when Chaos nipped his neck. Finally, Reno got the door open and Chaos slammed it behind them, locking it absently as he ravished Reno's lips. It had been too long, Chaos mused, since he had been intimate with anyone. Well, it was time to show a mortal what a demon could do.

* * *

Chaos led Reno to the bed and shoved him onto the silky coverlet. He gauged the man's reaction to the treatment. Reno lay there with his red hair fanned behind him and a smirk, watching the man standing above him. He put his arms behind his head and arched, giving the demon a view of lean muscles and pale skin. There was a flush from both alcohol and their activities on his cheeks. Chaos wanted to ravage him.

The demon lunged to the bed and straddled Reno, kissing him. He slid Reno's skin tight shirt up and off, throwing it somewhere. Slender hands reached up to assist Chaos with his armless sweater. Chaos moved to Reno's pants. He grinned momentarily, thinking that here was a man who knew the proper way to wear leather. He slid them off, following the garment with his tongue, nipping occasionally. The taste of flesh and sweat was delicious.

On the bed, Reno was gasping at each dangerous pinch. This man had some _teeth_. Not one to be passive, Reno ran his hands through the dark hair, encouraging him roughly. He tugged the tie that kept silky hair back, groaning as Chaos completely removed his pants.

Chaos covered Reno's lithe body with his own. He brought a clawed hand close to Reno's erect member, causing Reno's breath to hitch. While he was distracting Reno, Chaos reached with the other hand to the nightstand where he had stored some… things… for the evening.

Reno heard the drawer open, and assumed the man was grabbing lube. He felt the constriction around his wrists a second too late to escape. He thought frantically. Inner Reno cursed. Damn it! Kidnap? Game? He bucked under the other man, but the leather-wrapped handcuffs bound him to the sturdy headboard.

He glared at the gorgeous man above him and got an eyeful of scars and bullet holes. The man had been seriously _damaged_. He knew he had quite a few marks himself, but these were something else. The man leaned back, watching Reno catalogue each mark on his body. He knew what scalpel wounds looked like.

To bring the redhead back to the present, Chaos purred in a low voice.

"I believe, unless you have any strong objections, the safe word for tonight is… Chaos…" he smirked. He pumped Reno's erection as he said it.

"I think I can remember that, yo," Reno gasped out. Chaos slowed to a torturous pace, forcing Reno to raise his hips for more sensation. Claws scraped up the sensitive vein, and a sharp tip carefully flicked the sensitive slit. Reno's head flew back, hitting the bed. "Oh! Nnn!" he groaned.

"Keep making those noises, Red," Chaos growled, letting some aggression bleed through. He grabbed the next item for the night: a blindfold. He kissed each of Reno's eyelids, enjoying the flutter of ginger lashes before he bound the fabric over them. He deliberated with gagging the man as well, but he liked the noises the redhead was making. Another time, then, or another person.

"You shouldn't pick just anyone up, Red-" Chaos dragged sharp nails down Reno's ribcage, leaving angry pink marks, "-you might pick up something dangerous."

"Who says- nnnn- I don't like dangerous...?" Reno smirked. Good Gaia, the man was talented with those nails of his. He heard the click of a cap, and a moment later, a lubed finger at his entrance, then two, scissoring roughly.

"Let's see how much you can take then," Chaos growled. The man wasn't Strife, but he was damnably hot in his own right. With his arms cuffed above his head, Reno's lean body was stretched below Chaos like a sweat-slicked gift: a not-so-virgin sacrifice.

He swirled his tongue around one pink nipple, listening to the moans of the other man. With one hand, he thrust into Reno's body, stretching and preparing. With the other, he harshly pinched the other nipple to hardness, rolling it between two clawed fingers. Then he switched sides, soothing one peaked nipple with a hot tongue, abusing the other. Reno's body arched after Chaos's finger brushed his sensitive spot. Chaos withdrew his fingers. He grinned as Reno growled at the loss.

Reno shuddered as something oblong was slid into his body. A vibrator? It started buzzing inside him, massaging his inner walls. It was a high quality machine: Reno found himself unable to make coherent noises.

"Nn- ahh...!"

"Fucking someone strange… you don't know what could happen," Chaos watched as the man below him shuddered. Reno pulled against the restraints, desperate to touch something. "So risky, who knows what I could do to you," he licked his lips, eyes glowing with lust. The redhead had red scratches up and down his body: property of Chaos. Sightless, he could only wait for Chaos to make his move.

"Spread your legs!" Chaos demanded, waiting for the strong legs to press to the bed. With one hand on Reno's knee, he sucked at one spot on the man's creamy inner thigh, nipping until he left a mark. He gave the other thigh attention by dragging claws down and following the red marks with his tongue. Chaos brought his face close to the other man's dripping member, breathing hot air onto it.

Reno moaned in anticipation. He wasn't sure if he was saying it or thinking it, but the only thing on his mind was "pleaseohpleasephplease just do something!"

Hot, wet heat engulfed his dick, and a wicked tongue swirled around the tip. One hand massaged his balls, stroking and teasing the skin, while the other raked down his side. The combination of pain and pleasure made Reno gasp.

"Going to-" he managed, before a quick hand grasped the base of his erection, stopping his release.

"No you don't. Not until I say so," Chaos growled, licking his lips. He moved up to kiss Reno roughly, scraping their erections together. Reno shuddered in pleasure. Between his dick being rubbed and the vibrations in his ass, he was about to pop.

"Damn it, do it already!" Reno cursed. He could taste himself on the other man's lips. The hot lips kissed their way down his neck, stopping at the base where it met his shoulder. There was a whisper of warmth, and a flick of the tongue that had Reno gasping again. A loss of heat, and then- pain. "Fucker! Ng-" Reno felt the man's sharp teeth in his neck. A gentle lap of tongue soothed the bite.

"You fine?" Chaos asked, blood on his lips. Mm. Humans tasted better than he remembered.

"Yeah, ok, ok, just take the vibrator out-!" Reno gasped again, and Chaos quickly removed the buzzing object. He pinched the base of Reno's twitching erection once more. Chaos licked the sluggishly bleeding wound. As he was did that, he checked that the redhead was stretched enough. While pain might be arousing at times, being ripped from the inside was hardly the objective of the evening, and he knew his host's body was large by human standards.

"Condom!" Reno managed to gasp out, between the assault on his neck and his ass. So far this had been on the right side of dangerous, but he was suddenly worried. He might actually have to escape if this guy said n-

"Covered," Chaos slid the thin film on, lubing generously. He bit down again on another spot on Reno's neck, deeper, as he slid into the snug warm cavity.

The demon thrust until Reno was a twitching mass of moans. He angled towards the spot he had felt with his fingers.

"Ng!" Reno managed to say nothing, but convey everything. His mouth was stretched in a silent scream, gasping with pleasure as each rough thrust made him see stars behind the blindfold. A hand slid around is member, stroking slowly in contrast to the fast thrusting. The bites and scratches throbbed, but they mingled with the pleasure, morphing into a sensation that him to the edge…

"I'm going to cum, yo," Reno gasped, hoping this time he actually would be allowed to. The blindfold was ripped off of him and he shuddered, spurting fluid onto his stomach.

Chaos watched the man beneath him come, blue eyes fluttering in pleasure. The warm passage tightened around him, and he thrust his way to completion. He rode his orgasm out, shuddering with the pleasure of it. He had missed this the most. Slowly he pulled out, and removed the condom from his member. Beneath him, Reno grinned tiredly.

_Best. Lay. Ever_. Reno thought muzzily. He felt the handcuffs being removed, and a warm cloth being run up and down his body. He sat up and offered to clean the other man, only to be pressed down with a deep kiss. The scratches started to throb, but it was a good sort of hurt. He wondered if he would see the man again, or if a one-night stand was the most he could hope for… and with that thought Reno drifted into sleep.

Chaos rose and looked at his sleeping bedmate. He was quite pleased with how his night had ended. Alas, he could feel Vincent stirring in their mind. There would be no time to enjoy the flesh before him any longer. Perhaps he could convince Vincent to contact Reno? They had some common ground: the Turks. He could be the voyeur to their encounter. Or perhaps he could find Cloud next week...

Chaos grinned, showing entirely too much fang. He was enjoying being in a flesh body. Now if only he could convince Vincent to enjoy it as well.

* * *

Remember: safe sex is good sex.

Cookies for whoever knows the band who wrote this chapter's namesake.

Did anyone think of the video 'DDR- Dance Dance Reno'?


	4. Good Ol' Fenrir

Chapter 4: Good Ol' Fenrir

Disclaimer: I do not claim any rights to the characters, places, or things mentioned within this story. Hear me, Squenix? I want my plushie payment. Preferably Zack.

Warning: crude language, innuendo.

Cloud sat in the corner of the Tifa's bar. It was such a common sight that even the hero-chasers forgot he was there. He nursed a glass of golden whisky, watching the way the light caught the fluid in the glass. The deep golden color reminded him of something. It was a beautiful color… remarkable, really. For some reason, he thought of the way Vincent's eyes burned when he channelled Chaos. _Terrifying and beautiful_, he thought, before shaking himself out of his thoughts. Damn, he really did space out. Reno had once pointed his bad habit out. The Turk was annoying, but observant.

Cloud sighed and looked up from his glass. Same old: slow during the day, but Cloud knew it would pick up as it got later. There were two regulars in another corner, murmuring. Tifa was over by the bar, fixing the kids sandwiches. Reno was sitting in the booth directly across from him, grinning like a Malboro. Wait-

"Holy fuck Strife, back down! Back down yo!" Reno found himself at the business end of one of Cloud's more indoors-friendly swords (Tifa made him leave the rest upstairs). He held his hands up in peace.

"Reno? What the hell are you doing here?" Cloud spat. 'Never trust a Turk' was a motto drilled into his skull. Repeatedly. With an EMR rod, on occasion.

"Well, I wanted a drink, ya see, after an awesome night with a mysterious stranger, and I saw this lonely lil' Chocobo in the corner. Didn't even notice me until-"

"What do you want?" Cloud sighed. Dealing with Reno was always a trial. The Turk's sexual innuendos and carefree attitude annoyed him.

"Aside from you?" Reno smirked.

"Reno…" Cloud warned. He had yet to drop his sword from the Turk's face. He realized that the bar was watching him, so he clipped it to his back.

"Fine, fine, you're no fun, yo. Not like last night…"

Cloud growled and strode to the door. He was on Fenrir before Reno pelted out of the bar with a thin package under his arm.

"Strife! Its business! Business! Bossman wants you to bring this to the new section!" Reno thrust the package at Cloud, who raised an eyebrow.

"That's, at max, twenty minutes from here. You can't bring it yourself?"

"Naw, us suits, even the new suits," Reno said, gesturing to the new black Turk uniform, "aren't too welcome in that area, yo. And I have to book it to Kalm today for another mission. I just wanted to hand the package over to your sexy ass instead of leaving the package with Tits- I mean, Tifa."

Cloud almost snorted. Tits Lockheart was the unofficial nickname Tifa had acquired due to a certain redhead. He found it funny, but she was his friend and by default he really couldn't laugh at it. Out loud.

"Fine. What's the address?" he asked. Reno listed off a shady nightclub, and a time.

"It has to be during business hours, yo. Just sit in the corner or something, he'll see you. Hand it off, yo, and collect the check from Shinra tomorrow. Easy money," Reno grinned. He waved cheekily at Cloud before heading off. Cloud noticed Reno was limping slightly. He found it in himself to care.

"Reno! You ok there?" he called. Reno spun around.

"Remember what I said about an awesome night? THIS BIG!" he shouted down the street, with a gesture reserved for only the fakest of fish stories.

Cloud's cheeks coloured. Sexually experienced, he was not. In the Shinra army, he had been a minor, and despite Zack's best efforts, they never had a chance to… consummate their relationship. Being Hojo's experiment for the rest of his youth kind of killed his libido and then along came the whole saviour of the planet thing. Chasing Sephiroth around the whole damned Planet gave him very little personal time.

Now it was hard enough to walk down the street without being chased by swarms of shrieking people trying to 'touch the hero'. He tried to stay away from people in general. They scared him- he could hardly cut up civilians.

He could dream though...

"Right, Reno," he scoffed. "Strife's Delivery Service will deliver the package," he said formally. He tucked the package into a side-bag on Fenrir. He might as well go and pick up some things while he was out. Earlier, Tifa had mentioned she would need lemons soon, in the tone of voice that meant he had BETTER pick up some lemons, or else. It would kill time before it got dark, in any case.

"I bet you'll deliver a package," Reno said with a wink. He jogged off to a nearby alley. It was presumably to reach the building where he had landed his helicopter. Cloud shook his spiky head and revved Fenrir (it was NOT showing off to Reno), before taking off.

The best thing about being a delivery boy, Cloud mused, was that Fenrir went so fast that civilians couldn't bother him. He patted the massive black machine under him. Good old Fenrir would make stalker pancakes out of anyone who tried.

Yo. I wanna thank every one who reviewed. Mwah~

Harusaki: I'm overhauling the whole thing, just fixing bits, adding more here, tweaking that. Don't worry, I'm not leaving it hanging.

Little House in the Woods: thanks for your kind review! I do try to keep the flow clean.

nightdhade: you bet it was a reference to Acertiburon. I'm a huge fan.

Lynxaria: I got rid of the angry rant. Sorry about that…

Death-of-Penguins-and-Zannah: nah, this is about growth… of both kinds! (eyebrow waggle). He might try to hide, but he'll be racing Cloud to the brood cave.

Forevermare: thanks for agreeing with my (now removed) rant. ^^

CNome: or at least a 'yaoi' filter.

Rutilus I. V. : I needed some time to think about exactly where I was taking this… but the face will be precious.

JiLLiBeanz: I miss you and your enthusiasm… won't you review again?

Amon2: threesome… maybe? *evil laugh* I don't think Vincent could handle that.

niina: I know Uematsu was going for meaningful names, but, really?

blueravenchick: updating!

fetherhd: glad you agree.


	5. Slowly going crazy

Disclaimer: Nothing owning.

Warning: no smut again. Sorry! Next chapter!

* * *

Chaos wasn't used to worrying. He _was_ the prelude to the end of Gaia after all. Not much to worry about, after the Apocalypse. But ever since he had been condensed into a puddle of contaminated Mako (_damn that scientist_) and injected into his host, Vincent, he had started to care.

At first, he enjoyed tormenting Vincent. He started with little things like snide comments about Vincent's team. Who told that midget ninja that short-shorts made good protective battle-wear? Vincent would have said that too, if he had been more "there" at the time. Then he commented on Vincent's own behaviour, pointing out the stupid little things the man did. Who takes apart their weaponry _hourly _to clean it?

Eventually Chaos came to feel as if he was kicking a puppy while it was down. Vincent beat himself up more than Chaos ever could, and that sucked the joy out of things. So he tried to entertain himself in a corner of Vincent's mind unless Vincent was threatened or called for him. He got bored of that after a while though. So he talked to Vincent, and they became, if not friends, then allies. Chaos cared for the undead man's wellbeing. Which was why he was planning to get Vincent together with someone.

He knew the man was quietly watching over the delectable Cloud Strife. Vincent would never come out and tell Cloud about his attraction though. Vincent "had sins to atone for". Chaos thought he should take a leaf out of Cloud's book and try to forgive himself.

//Hear that Vinnie! _Forgive_ your damn self and live a little!// Chaos directed to the now-conscious Vincent. The first thing Vincent did was cradle his head.

_Ug. Chaos, did you drink last night? Why isn't the Mako healing this?_

//Hmph. Consider it atonement. Mako only heals extraneous wounds. Not poisoning.//

_Ah. Yes. Sin must be atoned for… _Vincent's mental train of thought jumped the normal track and plunged into the eternal twilight of "emo" town.

//Fucking- Vincent! Damn it. I think you've had enough atonement. Now go get some water. Your aching head is my aching head.//

_Right. Wait, Chaos. Where are my shoes? _Vincent looked at his pale bare feet. His deadly metal battle footwear had vanished. Vincent started wandering the mansion for them.

//Weren't you getting water? Vincent! Water! And aspirin! This demon is regretting drinking. Viiiiiiinnie!//

_You are not a kleptomaniac ninja, and so you may not call me 'Vinnie'_ _under any circumstances. Got it? Now. WHERE. ARE. MY. SHOES? _

//I… don't remember…?// Chaos was starting to regret dumping the monstrosities off a bridge. After melting them. And throwing them under a train.

_What am I going to wear then? _

//Conveniently and in a way that has absolutely nothing at all to do with me, there are a nice pair of leather boots on the decrepit rag you call a front rug.//

_Gaia damn it Chaos. Those shoes were an excellent weapon in battle. _

//What, by making your enemies laugh to death? Face it Vince. You walked like a duck. A duck with a stick up its ass. That must be why you jump about so much, instead of walking like a normal undead person. Now about that water?//

_You shut up. _Vincent found said boots. They were quite nice, and even though he was miffed at Chaos for losing his shoes, he was reluctantly grateful.

//They have blades in the toe, and spikes in the heel. Now get some aspirin damn it.//

_Oh fine! _Vincent huffed. He went to the medicine cabinet, only to look at the empty space in dismay. _Damn. My head really hurts. Damn you Chaos! I hate lending the body to you. _

//Hey, hey. If I heal your headache, can you let me out again tonight?//

_NO! Look at what happened last time. I'll just sleep it off. _

//Vincent. I'm kind of running out of songs, but I saved one that made me think of Sephiroth. You wanna hear it?//

_I hate you so much, _Vincent groaned.

//And here it goes! I am slowly going crazy, 123456, switch. Crazy going slowly am I, 654321 switch. Now, lets go faster!// Chaos might like Vincent, but he wasn't above using his pain against him. Even if Chaos was at fault for inflicting said pain, and feeling it himself. He had a higher tolerance than Vincent in any case.

_Just heal this damn headache, _Vincent acquiesced. This mental circus was becoming a regular occurrence. He might just as well let Chaos out every Friday and Saturday night. Vincent never did anything anyways. One of them might as well enjoy themselves.

* * *

Cloud sighed and tapped his fingers against the sticky table he was sitting at. The man who was supposed to pick up Reno's package was over an hour late. All Cloud had gotten for his patience was a proposition… or five. He sent them on their way with a growl. If the man didn't show up soon, Cloud would end up drinking himself silly from boredom. He relaxed a bit, and instead of scanning the place, he watched the people as they gyrated on the ground floor.

There was a particular person he kept seeing. A flash of red, a hint of black, and pale skin flushed with exertion. He thought it was Vincent at first, but logic came up and smacked him through the alcohol. _Cloud, _he told himself, _this is Vincent we're talking about. If there are more than five people in the room he leaves. If someone tries to talk to him, he'll stare them down until they run screaming. The only reason he talks to me is… wait. Why does he talk to me?_

"Hey, is that my package?" a voice said, moist air warming his ear. _Damn it! I have to stop spacing!_ Cloud cursed. The customer was behind him, a hand on Cloud's shoulder in a way he did NOT like.

"Yes it is sir. Please sign this form," Cloud pulled the form from his vest and slapped it on the table, along with a pen. The man slid his hand down Cloud's shoulder and trailed it down his arm. His gaze lingered on Cloud while he signed the form. Cloud practically ripped the paper from him and stuffed it back into his pocket. "Have a nice night," he said coolly. He chugged the last of his drink and slid out from the booth.

Halfway to the stairs, he was slammed into the wall. Too startled to react, he stared with wide eyes at the burly man who had pinned him. _Civilian. Can't… kill, _Cloud reminded himself, taming the "kill the bastard" reflex he had developed. Hey, it worked for most situations.

"What about the _other _package? I want that one too," the man murmured meaningfully.

"Huh?" was the intelligent reply.

The man caressed the front of Cloud's pants. Cloud was about to toss him over the railing, civilian status be damned, when he noticed something bright in the man's hands. Knife? He could deal with that easily- wait. Cloud felt his knees start to weaken. "D…drugs…?" he slurred. That last drink had been brought to him by a scantily dressed barmaid. He had thought nothing of it, foolishly.

He panicked. Cloud pulled an arm free to shove the man away, but the action had no force behind it. The man must have spiked his drink at the bar and gotten the woman to bring it to him. He hadn't been paying attention to his surroundings when he was looking at the dancing Vincent look-alike.

"Don't worry sweetness, it'll wear off soon… I just want to give you a _tip_."

"Ffff…" Cloud could barely get his mouth to move. The man picked him up and started down the stairs. A rustling behind them caught Cloud's attention.

"Excuse me, but I believe you have something I want," a voice said. The man carrying Cloud turned to see the Vincent look-alike perched on the safety railing on the balcony above the dance floor. "Hand the delivery boy over."

The man holding Cloud swore and dumped Cloud against the wall. He cracked his knuckles, demanding, politely, what the _fuck_ the other man wanted.

"I already told you, and repeating myself is boring. I'll just take him off your hands," the red stranger moved too quickly for the human eye to follow.

Cloud tried to stay conscious as the drug raced through his veins. Mako usually burned through poison, but it took time. Whatever the man had slipped him was strong… He felt himself being picked up. The Vincent-esque man cradled him with suspicious tenderness.

"I know you are out of it, but listen. I'm going to take you back to my hotel room so you can recover. That guy will be ok… if he wakes up. He's going to regret messing with you. Got it?"

Cloud nodded, feeling his head wobble as if it were boneless. He ended up with his nose pressed against the man's chest, noticing uncomfortably that the man smelled… really good. Damn. He blamed it on super-sensitive senses and the drug, but as the man carried him out of the club, Cloud noticed a lot of things. The care with which the man carried him, the strength of his arms (sure, Cloud was small, but pure muscle), the silken softness of his shirt. The man really _did_ look like Vincent, or the way Vincent would look if he lightened up and let himself loose.

His head swam with dizziness, and he felt as though he was going to be sick. He tried to indicate the latter symptom to the man cradling him, but he could only twitch his arm. He hadn't felt this helpless since his incarceration in Hojo's lab, and it terrified him.

"Hey, we're almost there. You ok there?" Chaos asked the man in his arms. This night was far from what he had planned, and while holding Cloud in his arms might have been part of it, having him drugged into oblivion was definitely _not_. Damn, he should have _killed _the man.

Chaos noticed Cloud's heart was racing. Concerned, he started talking to Cloud, telling him meaningless things, jokes and anecdotes to keep him distracted.

In his panic attack, Cloud heard the man talking to him in a soothing voice. He forced his shallow breaths into deeper ones. He tried to calm down. The mako was working, burning the drug from his system. He was not in Hojo's lab. Repeat. Not in the lab. Breathe. Calm down, he told himself. He focused on the man's voice, using the relaxing tone to calm himself. The nausea started to fade back, and Cloud felt the paralysis wearing off.

Sure, the mako in his blood could cure most wounds and burn off poison, but it exhausted the body's resources, and Cloud was feeling it. He started to fall asleep, just as the man entered the hotel. For some reason, even if the man wasn't Vincent, Cloud felt as safe with him as if he were the gunslinger…

They reached the hotel room Chaos had rented for the night. He decided to carefully strip Cloud down before setting him in bed. Luckily, Cloud's defence mechanisms were compromised, or he would have snapped awake. While Chaos was tempted to completely strip the man, his (newly developed) morals told him not to. Ah well. He stripped himself down to undergarments and snuggled into bed with the smaller man. Even if he didn't manage to have mind-blowing sex with the man of Vincent's dreams, cuddling his unconscious body in bed was a close second.

Unfortunately, Chaos forgot that when he relinquished consciousness, Vincent would be the dominant personality when the body woke up. Vincent, with no memories of the previous night…

* * *

Rant below. No need to read it.

AARRRRG. What has happened to this website? I have to sort through a TON of crap fics (no offense to budding authors, but SPELLCHECK damnit), mostly dealing with high-school/college AUs. Stupid, improbable, and badly-explained stories are waaaay more common then decent, not even good, but _decent_ stories.

And what is with the Fem-version of people? Deal with their damn gender; it makes the character who they are.

And the Mpreg? Once in a while it works. But there are too many poor excuses for stories out there, and I'm glaring at YOU Naruto writers.

I wish there was some sort of filter, right there beside story length and rating, for CRAP.

While I'm at it, long-ass paragraphs piss me off too. I mean, hit the "Enter" button once in a while people.

Whew. Ok. I just wanted to let that out in the open. I feel better now.


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